One of the most common questions I get is whether pheromones can help to break “out of the friendzone”…
How many times have we seen the guy “friend” that bottles up all his feelings for his girl best friend… and then dramatically reveals how he’s been in love with her forever?
In most movies and TV shows, it ends happily… in real life, not so much.
It sounds romantic, but most women won’t just fall into your arms after you declare your undying love for her.
In fact, doing this is almost guaranteed to end your friendship, create awkwardness even if you DO keep your friendship, and also give her reasons to avoid you.
But back to our problem…
Can pheromones help you escape friendzone?
In short, yes, it’s possible to escape friendzone (contrary to popular internet “wisdom”)…
But it’s not ALL about the pheromones.
If you’ve been reading my site for any amount of time, you know that I advocate working on yourself first and foremost.
And then using pheromones as a sort of “amplifier” to maximize your success.
I suggest this because one of my pet peeves is guys who constantly buy great pheromone products, then complain that nothing happened.
The truth is pheromones can significantly improve your chances of sparking romance, but they’re not magic.
In my experience, they will give you a HUGE advantage over not using them.
But you need to use STRATEGY.
If you know me, you know I’m the type of person that likes to “go against the grain”, and think outside the box.
For example, most people believe that:
- Getting out of friendzone is impossible
- It’s impossible to win against the “competition”
- Believe that the “friend” in question will eventually develop romantic feelings
And while it does take quite a bit of work (sometimes), its definitely not impossible.
Over years of testing products, I’ve seen some crazy things I would have never explored if it wasn’t for pheromones.
Some of those situations included getting into romantic relationships, getting ex-girlfriends back, and yes… getting out of FRIENDZONE.
But before we even talk about pheromones, it’s important to understand that this goes way deeper than a “quick fix” pheromone product to make her change her mind about friendzoning you.
Yes, they can have immediate effects.
But you still need to do some internal work to maximize your chances.
In most cases, I recommend just moving on and finding another woman who’s just as attractive (or more) and starting from scratch.
Because it’s easier to attract new women, than it is to “get out of friendzone”.
But hey, I understand… sometimes you just HAVE to give it your best shot.
Especially if you think she’s worth the effort.
1.) Understand why she’s not attracted to you
Chances are, if you’re reading this article you might have some lowered confidence and self esteem, and not think of yourself as “attractive” or “good enough” for this specific girl you’re after.
And that’s absolutely DESTROYING your chances for success at actually getting her.
… when this happens, it’s common for guys to fall into a pattern of self sabotage in the process.
They put that woman up on a pedestal because she rejected them, and see her of higher value than themselves.
- You may feel that she is “out of your league”
- That she’s “only after rich guys”
- She’s only attracted to 6’5″ models
The end result?
Women will FEEL that they are superior to you, and act accordingly.
When you’ve gotten to this stage, there’s a good chance you’ll ultimately never get her.
Women want relationships with men of high value – men that they can brag about to their girlfriends. That they can show off to the public.
The one all the ladies swoon over. The “one”… they see that man as BETTER than they are, and therefore are attracted to him.
There are some plain ugly celebrities that have women chasing them down, and it’s because they are of HIGH VALUE.
But you don’t have to be a celebrity – you just have to create SOME of the magic that surrounds them.
That’s what we’re about to do.
If you think, feel, and act like a lower value male (and trust me, she will also know).
Women are very tuned in to something called “vibes”.
She will simply not feel attracted to you if she feels you don’t value yourself, or hold yourself in high esteem.
That’s why I think getting women that are “out of your league” is just frame of mind.
If you believe it, then it will be true.
That’s why it’s IMPERATIVE that you realize this, and then make the required changes.
So once you’ve realized this is true, what’s next?
2.) Change your belief system so that you TRULY feel of significantly higher value
Lot’s of PUA (Pick Up Artist) geeks try to hammer the thought that “I am the prize” into their heads.
But this facade quickly fades.
The canned tricks and lines come down like a house of cards, and they lose their woman because they don’t have anything REAL to back it up on.
You can hype yourself up with fake confidence all you want, but it will never work unless you build a solid foundation to back up your confidence.
Naturally, when you start building up your confidence and self esteem, you will start to think of yourself as “higher value”.
The key, in this situation is making yourself of SIGNIFICANTLY higher value.
You see, with most women that are new to you, pulling off a “high status” vibe is easy..
You’re focused on yourself, you’ve got great social skills, you groom well, take care of yourself, and you are naturally attractive.
BUT – since you’ve been friendzoned, the woman you are romantically interested in now sees you as “lower value” than what you are.
That makes it a LOT harder to demonstrate your value, because she thinks less of you from the very start.
To make her change her mind… you need to show her that you are of MUCH higher value (and believe it yourself).
You’ve probably already heard of a few of these things already.
Here’s a small list of steps you need to take RIGHT NOW if you want to get out of friendzone.
- Make yourself unavailable (I know, you’ve probably already heard of this little game). But you need to disappear, stop replying to texts, stop picking up the phone, and stop hanging out for a while… if you are not really friends, and just know eachother on a sort of casual basis this is great. How long? Don’t immediately cut off all contact, or she’ll think you’re playing games and you’ll set off alarm bells. Just start becoming distant.
- Start dating other women. I know, you’re probably still hung up on the girl of your dreams that friendzoned you… and while this is common advice, you absolutely NEED to take it seriously. I don’t care if she thinks you’re a jerk, or whether she knows about it or not… doing this will help tremendously with part 3 of this guide.
- Use social media to your advantage. Post photos of the fun, exciting, and goal driven life you are starting to develop (or have developed) from step 1. When she becomes the slightest bit interested in you – whether she is already or in the future, it’s almost certain she will do “research” on you (I’ve seen this happen many times). Have posts and comments with attractive women, and don’t be one of those weirdos that takes too many selfies. You have the advantage of time, so carefully craft an “ideal” persona with your content.
3.) Eliminate any trace of desperation.
Hopefully by now, you have started to work on yourself and have made some tremendous progress in some major parts of your life – physically, emotionally, mentally.
All the things I suggested work together synergistically to create something called “momentum”.
Creating momentum in your life is the feeling of making progress, growing as a person, developing character, and personality.
To get to this point, you need to be 110% focused on YOURSELF.
You will feel a deep sense of wellbeing and confidence when you reach this level.
But now it’s time to take that a step further and let the idea of ever being with her go.
This will improve your chances of escaping friend zone tremendously.
Drop the romantic thoughts in your head, stop crushing on her, and stop feeling emotional if you can’t stand the idea of her being with someone else (which most likely won’t happen any time soon anyway).
That’s why I suggest you work FAST in any case.
You will not be ready to see her for atleast a few weeks – or months, if you’re still not over her.
LET ME REITERATE HOW IMPORTANT THIS STEP IS: You cannot go back as slightly better – you need to be a whole new person to get her to see you in a different light. You can try all the tricks you want and skip this step. But it is only going to ruin your chances. Don’t cheat yourself.
4.) Space, time, and distance is your absolute is your best chance of success
The above steps are a lot easier said than done, but you knew it wasn’t going to be easy.
By now, you’ve probably gotten over the girl you wanted and friendzoned you… and it’s not really even a thought in your head.
You’ve perhaps begun to date other women, and maybe even gotten familiar with real life love potions called pheromones.
Maybe it took weeks or even several months to get to this point.
And if you can truly admit to yourself that you simply don’t care about the outcome anymore (of whether she ends up dating you or not)…
… THEN you are ready for step 4.
If you try to fool yourself, you’re only going to reduce your chances of getting the girl.
Do NOT proceed unless you’re ready.
The next step is to re-introduce yourself as a new and improved “you”.
The reason I walked you through steps 1-3 so far is to change the way you think and feel about yourself.
How people perceive you is usually a result of how you feel about yourself.
If you don’t respect yourself, others won’t respect you. If you treat yourself poorly, others will treat you poorly.
And the opposite is also true.
If you have respect for yourself, take care of your mind and body, do things you’re passionate about and make you happy… then you’ll naturally exhibit more attractive behavior.
5.) How to spark her interest in you, romantically
Hopefully, I don’t have to tell you that just because you completed all these steps, that its time to go beat her door down and ask her for another chance.
It doesn’t work like that.
Every friendzone has a different level of difficulty to escape.
But the basic principles of how we’re going to approach the situation remain the same.
Like I said before, it’s time to “re-introduce” yourself.
… why do I say “re-introduce”?
Because you’re not going to be the same person you were when you exited her life.
You will be BETTER.
- The new and improved version of yourself doesn’t care whether she doesn’t like you, because you have other women who are just as attractive as her.
- You value yourself, and don’t have time for wishy washy behavior. You believe deep down that “if she ain’t choosin’, she losin”. Something a black friend of mine says quite often, and it’s true (he reads this site).
- Her petty “rejection” means nothing in the grand scheme of things. You will genuinely see it as “HER loss”, because she will miss out on success in your future (because you’re a goal oriented, charismatic type person).
Does that sound a bit over the top?
Sure, but it’s what we’ve been working on this whole time… so let’s talk about how to “be” when you actually do happen to see her.
You also want to check out this article about creating fallout/imprinting, which will further “embed” you into her mind… in a romantic way, almost like she can’t have you anymore.
6.) Demonstrate your new higher status and value (subtly).
Like I said, if you have Facebook or Instagram, it’s great if you can get a following of friends liking your cool new lifestyle.
Create mystery and intrigue, and let small, attractive chunks of your personality run free online.
While she may not be checking it right now, after the steps below she will likely come around snooping to see what you’re like (especially if she is considering dating you).
Show good communication skills, humor, intelligence, motivation, goals, wittiness, popularity etc… but don’t be obnoxious.
Nobody likes a show off – and make sure you’re original too.
Don’t be a “negative nancy” and post about religion or politics or other sensitive topics.
7.) Don’t go out of your way to get back into her life
Try to make her come to you. You might try and find subtle ways to run into eachother – such as at a party, get together with mutual friends, starting an “event” on Facebook and inviting a bunch of friends.
The important part is that it’s not super obvious that it’s all about her.
You want to portray that even though she rejected you, you’re not hurt or bitter, and that you frankly, don’t care.
If a woman ever sees you all crushed up over them, its perceived as pathetic and weak.
Don’t be the guy who can’t handle a roadblock.
8.) When you re-introduce yourself, make it obvious you are flirting
Before, it might have been a little bit awkward to flirt with someone who you knew was not romantically interested in you.
That’s another key reason we had to “detach” from the old patterns you were used to with your “dream girl”.
Those emotions were an internal conflict that would have messed with your ability to attract her.
Don’t just dive right in though.
You should also talk yourself up and let your high self esteem and confidence glow – so she KNOWS without a doubt you are not the same person she friendzoned.
Be “larger than life” if you have to, and talk about the interesting things you have been doing in the mean time since you last saw her.
When you do flirt, make sure it is humorous, spontaneous, and FUN.
Make sure you don’t carry on the conversation so long that it dies down into a simmer – “always leave them wanting more”.
Also, I highly recommend studying the art of conversation, so you don’t appear to be “up yourself”.
Just subtly steer the conversation and leave threads for her to ask more questions about. E.g. let’s say you mentioned something interesting like… you started a business.
You let her press you for more information, rather than elaborating and making yourself appear douche-y.
Use your common sense and social smarts.
9.) Time is of the essence – if you see signs of attraction, act fast
… whether it’s as a friend, or romantic interest you must use this time frame wisely.
She may be open to the possibility of dating you, but it’s important to never put in more than she does… if she messages you, reply with a shorter message.
Make yourself somewhat unavailable, and continue to raise her interest in you.
Your goal at this point is to spend time alone with her.
Settle for group situations if you have to, but make it clear that you want to take her out.
There is a HUGE distinction that I need to make clear here: She might still reject you… how do you get around this?
Something people of the older generation knew, but never passed on to us.
Maybe it got washed out when PUA (Pick Up Artist) stuff started getting popular.
The ideology that you should simply “next” a girl at the slightest sign of non-interest has spread like a virus through the internet, and is widely accepted by the online community of guys who study their type of game.
I personally think it’s absolute garbage.
Anyway, I learned an interesting art form…
10.) It’s called persistence, not being an annoying idiot.
Robert Kiyosaki, the author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad claims he had asked his now-wife out about 20 times before she said yes.
I can’t tell you how many “older” gentlemen I have talked to, who have similar stories.
One of them is an old manager of mine at a factory.
He’s one of those chill, old people that’s always cracking jokes and making fun of people in a light hearted way.
At a Xmas party about 6 years ago, I found out from his wife that she had rejected him multiple times.
Yet they’ve been married for over 50 years!
They MAJOR key here is do NOT be creepy about it.
Like I mentioned earlier, this takes a lot of confidence, social persuasion, and indifference to whether she says yes or no (you still want the outcome to be yes, but never push, beg, or plead with her).
If you truly want to get out of friendzone and into a potential relationship, do not take it personally, and do not throw a fit… just brush it off for another day, and make her laugh while you’re at it.
Always keep your head high and your value as a person soaring so she eventually caves in and gives you a chance.
You still want to attract her, so make sure to keep things funny, not-serious, and never awkward!
An EXCELLENT example of the kind of attitude you should put on is like Will on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
Check out some videos on youtube to get an example, or download the whole series.
He never gets down about a chick.
Will: Val, what’s up baby? Today must be your lucky day!
Girl: “Why? Cause you’re not going to ask me out today?”
11.) Create positive, special memories and moments with her with this psychological trick
You need to do something called “anchoring”…
Anchoring is when you have certain feelings associated with a person.
For example, do you have a friend or family member that automatically makes you feel a certain way when you see or hear from them?
Whether it’s positive or negative?
That’s what anchoring is. I have a cousin who I rarely get to speak to. But as soon as our calls connect we just start cracking up, because we got into a lot of trouble when we were younger. It’s hilarious just thinking about some of those memories as adults…
With women, it’s important to associate yourself with fun, happy, deep memories… because, when she starts thinking about you, it will begin to create what they call “butterflies”…
… or slowly falling in love.
You need to converse about many things openly and honestly, and discuss deeper topics in order to anchor you to her memories.
Having these special, private conversations where she can open up to you, have a laugh, cry, and feel other emotions with you is a powerful way to get into her thoughts.
While it’s good to keep it fun and light, you also need to make the romance deeper.
12.) Keep your eyes on her interest level – and stoke the fires if you have to
Sometimes, using a very small amount of jealousy goes a long way.
Have other women interested in you, but don’t “obviously” try to make her jealous.
Simply mentioning you have a date or talking about other women in front of her will switch her competitive mode on.
Even better would be being seen with other attractive women through facebook, or getting her to show up in real life some time.
You MUST be very careful with this, because you’re playing with fire…
Any interest she might have in you might either amplify her attraction, or KILL it altogether.
It really depends on how interested she is in you, or not which can tip the scale in either direction for you.
13.) Go “hot and cold” with your behavior…
Women do this to men all the time.
Most of the time, it’s because they can’t make up their mind.
But it can drive guys crazy and cause them to just explode at her, and have an outburst like a baby (why were you leading me on?!).
Now that you’ve changed your beliefs, and women are after you, if she’s still not responding that well one of the last resort things I can suggest is going “hot and cold”.
That means you’re fun and flirty one day, texting back and forth a few times… then you stop it and be cold.
This causes a lot of emotions to go flying everywhere – but at the same time create incredible tension which can break you out of friendzone by playing with the “scarcity” tactic.
You make yourself scarce, high value, and watch girls go gaga over you.
This is what “bad boys” have that nice guys don’t – an attitude that makes women feel all kinds of emotions.
It’s what attracts them to all kinds of drama – including the situation with you if you pull it off just right.
But there’s still one more powerful piece to the puzzle.
14.) Killer pheromone combinations to help you escape friendzone
Relax – we’ve gotten to the fun part now… the actual pheromone products which can boost your chances of success even higher.
I’ve listed the products individually, but you can check out the full reviews by clicking on the links.
I’ve also noted some powerful combos you can use to amplify their effects if you choose to take it that far…
If you did all the work above, then you’ll probably want a killer product to help you win the girl over. These are a few hand picked products I’ve selected, but you can view precisely what pheromones involved with “love” or romance are here.
Let’s get this show on the road.
XiSt by PheromoneXS
It was designed for creating intense “crush” feelings from women, and getting them to fall in love.
This “crushy” feeling can start to develop slowly, or is it can be fast – all that is certain is that women will react in a way you won’t believe. Even women who never previously thought of you as “boyfriend material”.
It was developed over several years of testing and tweaking (originally called the Instant Boyfriend mix) – however the ingredients for that particular combo were discontinued.
SteveO later revived it through his own brand, PhereomoneXS.
It was designed specifically to help you escape friendzone, and “reset” feelings about you.
Women will start to slowly see you in a romantic light, and consider your boyfriend material.
It’s also one of my favorite pheromone products of all time.
- Read the full XiSt review here
- Buy XiSt here
- Combos well with SOB-XS to amplify the attraction effects immediately
Escape The Friendzone by Pheromone Treasures
If the name didn’t already make it obvious enough, this product was designed specifically for “friendzone” scenarios.
I have used this extensively over the last 2 years, and has a very similar feeling to XiSt, however it is heavier on the sexual element.
It also has a potent “crushy” feeling on women, while also being a sexual “threat”, which will destroy the “nice guy” or friendzoned vibe women feel around you.
This is very important, because while some product can generate “crushy” feelings, you still need that sexual attraction to push it over the edge and escape the friendzone.
You can use the affectionate touching and playfulness that ETFZ creates to escalate the situation very easily.
The difference between this and XiSt is you may find that one or the other hits certain women harder (if you can afford it, both are great options to switch between to keep things exciting).
I would highly recommend adding about 15-20mcg of androstadienone, as you can use it to steer your interactions in a romantic way, and have women become “clingy” within hours of exposure (I’ve seen this happen rapidly, but it varies depending on the person).
- Get ETFZ here (full review not available yet).
- Androstadienone also available from Pheromone Treasures (visit link above)
Although not specifically geared for creating a “romantic” feeling, this is one potent pheromone that I believe can significantly (and quickly) change a woman’s perception of you.
Alpha Q projects a high status ‘VIP’ type of vibe, immediately commanding respect, yet borders on the edge of being TOO good…
… and by that I mean, YOU become the hot blonde in the bar that everyone wants to talk to.
Women may even start to feel threatened by your attractiveness, and can make them very jealous.
Especially if they start to think that they CAN’T have you.
That you’re the one with value now, and they have to win YOU over.
I also believe this contains some of the ingredient XSP-96, as it seems to contain powerful memory effects, and has somewhat of a “reset” effect like XiSt.
XSP-96 is a very special pheromone, and I’ve been banging on about it for years. Although it has a code (not an actual named molecule), it has very powerful effects on women.
This particular pheromone only seems to reveal its effects when combined with other pheromones.
However, it is a MUST if you want amplify and supercharge the mixes – because it can also speed up the “reset” effect to help people perceive you in a new light.
This is also very versatile, and can be used with a variety of pheromone products to give them a significant boost.
I would mostly recommend pairing this primarily with sexually geared products, in order to give them the right “energy” you need to break out of friendzone.
For example, it works extremely well with Alpha Q, Alfa Maschio, SOB-XS, Escape The Friendzone, and several others, but not ideally with XiSt, Swoon, and other purely romantic type products.
This is because it can soften the sexual attraction, so if you DO add it to more “romantic” type products, you need to use a little spike of androstenone to help it really shine.
One last thing before I close out. Do NOT put work in “tomorrow” if you REALLY want to escape friendzone
Tomorrow will turn to several days, and you’ll start making excuses…
Then you’ll wish you had started making some progress the last week, month, year.
You get the picture.
It’s never too late to work on yourself – and the worst case scenario?
Even after all that, if she still isn’t interested in you, you’ve hopefully moved on to getting women that ARE interested in you (especially ones that are even more attractive).
If you do it right, you’ll not only get out of friendzone — you’ll have improved your success dozens of times over with even more attractive women.
And not only that, it will be so much easier for you to date them short or long term, or whatever it is you want – because you just fought one massive uphill battle for romance.
Thank you for reading,
- Phero Joe
P.S. Some people have asked “which combo is the best”? For me PERSONALLY, I have found lately that Alpha Q + XSP-96 is the best for some women, whereas for other women, slightly slower combos like XiSt + SOB-XS works better. I believe this may have something to do with how readily women are to get into a potential dating/relationship situation. With AQ as a base, it tends to attract women who are NOT initially that interested, whereas women who are more attracted to reationship vibes off the bat, will be more likely to react to the XiSt.
P.P.S. With that being said, there is no “one size fits all” combo or product that will work the best. Some products will be more effective on a particular woman, yet not give anywhere near the same results on a different woman. That’s why its important to do the groundwork first, and then consider pheromones as a secondary “power accessory” to push them over the edge. Happy friendzone-busting!
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