What does “men going their own way” mean? MGTOW for short, is a relatively new social phenomena where men who are fed up with the current status quo with women, decide to pull themselves OUT of the dating pool altogether – and simply focus on themselves.
I recently started coming across YouTube recommendations on this type of content, and quickly went into the “red pill” and “MGTOW” rabbit hole (mostly because I was interested in the psychology of guys that are into this stuff).
So I decided to do a little bit of research into it.
I went down a pretty dark rabbit hole to try and find out what I can about this secretive (now becoming more mainstream) group of men, and what makes them tick.
To get started, here’s an excerpt from the official mgtow.com website:
“MGTOW – Men Going Their Own Way – is a statement of self-ownership, where the modern man preserves and protects his own sovereignty above all else.
It is the manifestation of one word: “No”. Ejecting silly preconceptions and cultural definitions of what a man is. Looking to no one else for social cues. Refusing to bow, serve and kneel for the opportunity to be treated like a disposable utility. And, living according to his own best interests in a world which would rather he didn’t.
In other words . . . common sense for men.
Noun. Meaning: Supreme power or authority. Autonomy, independence, self-government, self-rule, self-determination, freedom. Self-governing.
My first impressions was this was some type InCel (INvoluntary inCELibate) movement – a guy who can’t get laid.
Which is a whole other category of men…
… typically made up of socially inept nerds and burnt out PUA’s that realize tricks don’t work so easily on women.
However, all this MGTOW and “Red Pill” stuff isn’t actually a movement – they make no claims for rights or anything like that.
It is a “way of life”, according to them.
A philosophy that enables them to maintain their sanity in this crazy dating world we live in.
Their philosophy seems to come from the “women” of today being extremely self absorbed, entitled, and feeling like they can ride the “cock carousal” before settling down with a regular guy in life.
And to be completely fair…
This is actually a pretty accurate assessment of a lot of women of today.
In my opinion, I think the sentiment towards women from Men Going Their Own Way, comes from not being able to compete on a level playing field.
For example, take dating apps like Tinder & Bumble.
You are judged solely on how you look, and it has an extremely negative impact on men who are deemed below average-even slightly above average.
This fuels even more irritation from these guys because women become extremely picky with who they “swipe right” on, and only select the best looking men.
The best looking men then have “free reign over an incredible amount of attractive women.
… all the while, “good guys” can barely get a girl to reply even if they do “match” with them through these apps.
I think this movement finds it infuriating that a certain percentage of the male population can have their way with women, and they can’t.
They also seem to be very jealous of attractive men (who they refer to as “Chads” and “Tyrones”).
Another thing they hate is that women are also hypergamous.
The problem is that these are MAJOR exaggerations.
Not every attractive woman is open to sleeping around willy nilly, and I know many attractive men who have as many problems as unattractive guys getting dates and meeting women.
It is a myth.
But if we were to “follow the narrative” and believe every mildly attractive woman is an STD breeding ground, I think this is where the frustration and anger really comes from.
… Their inability to attract women, combined with negative stereotypes, and an echo chamber of other men who have been hurt by women…
Let’s say its not the “ideal” state of mind.
They believe they are “missing out” on women during their most attractive periods…
And then once they have been played, gotten older, and don’t have anything of value to offer a high status man…
… they want to take the resources that the “good” men have been building up while these women have their “fun” and “find themselves” in their prime years (how many of us have gotten that excuse in past breakups?)
99% of the time, its because they want to bang other men.
And not only that, they even have the nerve to COMPLAIN that there are no “good guys” out there.
Is this all true?
To a certain extent, yes…
And I completely understand the anger and frustration guys feel towards women who think they can just take something they didn’t help to get.
I think there is also an element of schadenfreude (meaning: delighting in others misfortune) to all this as well…
As women lose their attractiveness over time, men can continue bagging women much younger than them, and tend to have success well into their 30’s, 40’s, and over.
… it seems that the guys associating with MGTOW and the “red pill” community tend to be very bitter towards women, and seem to enjoy the flip of power once both genders reach a certain age.
Women are blessed with looks, men are to be patient to fully utilize their masculine power.
Actually, it reminds me of an old article I read years ago about an entitled woman.
Have a quick read:
What am I doing wrong?
“Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl.
I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics — bars, restaurants, gyms
- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
- Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults — I’m putting myself out there in an honest way.
Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it.
I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them — in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money.
Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity …
in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates!
Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold… hence the rub… marriage.
It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease.
In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy.
I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
Before I continue, let me just say that women are allowed to have sexual freedom to be with anyone they want, when they want.
My point is that it’s just much more difficult to find quality women who are actual girlfriend/wife material because of it.
Women in first world countries (and even below average women) have an endless stream of men willing to beat their doors down for the kitty.
Men on the other hand COMPETE to win over women.
Younger women these days are “sexually liberated” thanks to modern feminism and other women’s rights movements – and very likely, this is something that has caused lasting psychological impacts on women.
We can see it with our sky high divorce rates and women “settling down” after a long and free ride after being with many men in their youth.
- It DESTROYS the ability for women to have meaningful connections with a man in the future, and impairs their ability for pair bonding (and having a stable, healthy relationship).
- If the woman does manage to get into a relationship, she is likely to have destructive habits and will most likely destroy the relationship anyway. I believe this is where the “you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife” cliché comes from – and its true.
Evidence, you ask?
“However, when an individual choses to engage in casual sex, breaking bond after bond with each new sexual partner, the brain forms a new synaptic map of one-night –stands. This pattern becomes the “new normal” for the individual.
When and if the individual later desires to find a more permanent partner, the brain mapping will have to be overcome, making a permanent bond more difficult to achieve.”
Considering this is a relatively new area of study, the scientific evidence will lag years behind (just like how they are when it comes to pheromones).
In these cases, it’s also a wise idea to look at anecdotal evidence.
In my research, I came across the “Red Pill WOMEN” sub-reddit – dedicated to the negative consequences of “hookup culture” and “sexual freedom” on women…
In this case, the woman knows she has a high “body count” (which means how many men she’s slept with), and is concerned about her issue with not being able to pair bond.
… Then other RPW (Red Pill Women) also chime in with comments about “blue pill” women…
… the women who follow feminism, hate men, and are bitter towards younger women because they’re more attractive.
So getting back to MGTOW – is this a valid reason to remove yourself from the dating game?
Believe it or not, I think this whole M.G.T.O.W. way of life has SOME validity…
… and in a way, it’s something I have gone through, and even sometimes encourage men to do anyway (without the label attached to it).
Google search results are complete garbage these days, and the top ranked articles claim this is all a misogynistic, women hating movement.
But after doing some research, I don’t think this is true.
While there IS a lot of that out there (women haters, bitter men), the majority of guys who are into MGTOW and the “Red Pill” community, seem to be normal dudes who are now just indifferent to women.
They are indifferent and focus on getting their finances up, building resources, working out, and working on themselves…
And guess what?
That’s actually attractive to women.
But there is a point where it becomes borderline dangerous, and destructive to psychological health.
MGTOW, while it does promote some positive new behaviors (like being self sufficient and building up resources)…
… is mixed in with a lot of low self esteem/confidence guys who have simply given up altogether and refuse to change who they are.
Men were designed to COMPETE in order to win.
It seems like a lot of these guys simply refuse to believe there is anything wrong with them, and they aren’t trying hard enough to beat their insecurities, and just find it easier to blame feminism, women, and society in general.
That is where I start have a problem with it.
But where is the line?
The line is where you don’t completely separate yourself from women.
You simply understand their nature, where society is at right now, and then find the loopholes that you can use to your advantage.
In my travels, I came across this interesting YouTuber, who talks about the issues of dating in modern women – from a female perspective.
I like her.
“Don’t hate the player, hate the game. “
That is something I learned a long time ago from men who were great with women.
Way before any of PUA (pickup artist) garbage came to be.
The game is simply about supply and demand…
The guys who were good with women, just became a product that women wanted… and therefore, women were attracted to them.
What does this involve?
It means becoming the best version of yourself.
I’m well aware at this point with all the “life coaches”, mentors, paid courses, and books out there, it sounds like a silly cliché too.
But it really comes down to maximizing your potential so that women find you attractive…
… and even if you aren’t the “top of the food chain”, women still find POTENTIAL very attractive (this is why they like “bad boys”).
In saying all that, men STILL have a significant advantage over women.
That’s why I do not completely agree with M.G.T.O.W. and the “Red Pill” community.
Something that I’ve known for a while, that became crystal clear while peaking into this corner of the internet…
is that men tend to underestimate how attractive they can become if they simply DO THE WORK FIRST.
So is MGTOW a good philosophy to follow?
Well, let’s take a look at some facts:
- Following the “MGTOW” philosophy, does NOT mean that you simply ignore women permanently, get old, and then die alone… you simply do not focus on it, until you feel like it.
- This involves gathering and building up your home, financial resources, and stability so that you can live life on YOUR terms.
- As a man, you’ll be most attractive in your 30’s – 40’s and over, because you should now have the ability to provide for women (something women can “sense” on a very subtle level).
- You now have choices to make about the quality of women, and IF you want to commit to a woman. Because the tables have now turned, and you are an appreciating asset, while she is a depreciating one.
However, this does not mean you should just “check out” of the game and become a bitter loser.
With masculine energy, we can build and conquer the world, despite what modern feminism wants us to think.
And competing for women is nothing new.
Men have been doing it since the beginning of time.
Simply writing off women, blaming feminism, single parent-hood, women being entitled, or any other issues is simply WEAK.
But hey, you can leave more women on the table for men who are willing to do what it takes to win.
If you want.
Learn what you need to work on, your appearance, game, how you dress, talk, and improve your financial and social status.
All these things contribute to your overall attractiveness to women, and it IS possible, even for below average guys to pull attractive women.
While this may seem like a bash on women who have lost their morality due to the world we live in, there are “good” women out there.
And you aren’t going to find them easily, which is why you need to HUNT (another reason why simply removing yourself completely is a dumbass idea).
I think deep down, most of us guys are trying to find a beautiful woman we can build something with, have children, and have a nice home life.
And I agree that it can be very difficult.
But they DO exist.
Even in first world countries like America, the UK, Australia…
Something I’ve also found very interesting is that I find international woman much more attractive on a more regular basis.
I’ve found Japanese, Korean, Brazilians, Hispanics, Columbians, even Eastern European women (Russians, Ukrainians) are much more feminine and easier to deal with on every level.
And no, they’re not all gold diggers.
I think if one day I do decide to “settle down” and take it easy, I’ll be taking my pheromone collection to these places to look for quality women.
That is another reason why working on your financial situation is also very important to your stability and success with women.
But to start wrapping it up, M.G.T.O.W. and the “Red Pill” community just seems like a place where men can vent and talk about their problems with women.
I think there are a lot of men who have gone through terrible divorces, been cheated on, broken up with, had women constantly shut them down, and a bunch of other things…
… and while we all need a good vent once in a while, this is toxic behavior and energy to absorb.
And it WILL spill over into your interactions with women.
My advice is to just avoid it all together, and instead of bitching about women, understand how their minds work, and then start using that information to your advantage.
It might not be easy, but at least you will face your honest self, work on your weaknesses, and soon be able to pull women that other guys are just going to whine that they can’t get.
Anyway, I know this didn’t have much to do with pheromones, but I think to help expand readership I will be working on some extra articles like this in the near future.
Let me know what you think 🙂
- Phero Joe
Don't Go Anywhere. Check Out These Articles First.
- A Message To Women (From An Emotional Vampire). Men, Do NOT Read Unless … - October 27, 2020
- How To “Possess” Women’s Mind & Body: The Art Of PLAYER Style Conversation - October 24, 2020
- MGTOW: Men Going Their Own Way (Is It Really The “Red Pill” We Need?) - October 23, 2020